A Picture of Loving Leadership

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” EPHESIANS 5:25

 

PONDER THIS

Did you know Jesus never makes me do anything? Husbands, you are going to be in severe difficulty if you think that when the Bible says you are the head, you read that as, “I am the boss.” “I am the dictator.” No. Jesus is not the dictator of the Church; He is the head of the Church. If the Church, as His bride, refuses to follow, then she is going to reap repercussions, but He never forces us to do anything. Any husband who takes the attitude of a dictator is going to see that his home is in severe trouble. He is seeking to use the Bible as a club saying, “I am the head. Submit.” This is not the way of Jesus, and cannot be our way either.

Who do you know who you would say is a great leader?

What makes that person a leader you want to follow?

PRACTICE THIS

Consider the positions of influence and leadership you have been given. How will you move toward Christ-honoring leadership?

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Harmony Through Responsibility

“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” EPHESIANS 5:33

 
PONDER THIS

God made husbands and wives different so that He might make them one. God gave you one nature, and God gave your wife another nature. God gave husbands masculinity and responsibility that they are to assume. In that responsibility, you may give your wife authority, but you can never get rid of your responsibility. You are to let your wife know that she is number one. You move in to protect your wife from internal traumas, so that you can present her without spot or wrinkle, to make her a more radiantly beautiful Christian. And then, husbands, once you have done that, then you move in to encourage her, nourish her, and cherish her. It is up to the husband to take the initiative. All of us must practice what God's Word says, that there might be harmony in the home.

What do you think it looks like to share authority but take responsibility as we’ve discussed today?
What responsibilities has God given you? Are there any ways you have sought to relinquish those wrongly?

PRACTICE THIS

Make a list of responsibilities you feel God has given you. If you are failing to honor God in any of these responsibilities, consider what needs to change.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers

Leading the Way Jesus Leads

“For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.” EPHESIANS 5:23

 

PONDER THIS

Philippians chapter 2 tells us that the Lord did not consider it a thing to be grasped to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation and took on the form of a servant in obedience (Philippians 2:5-8). And the Bible says, “therefore God has highly exalted him” (Philippians 2:9). Jesus took the low way, and God exalted Him. The devil took the high way, and God brought him down and will bring him down to the very pit. We are never more like Jesus than when we have submissive spirits. We are never more like the devil than when we have rebellious spirits. Submission is not inferiority. The Bible teaches in 1 Corinthians 11:3, “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” Husbands are called to be the heads of their wives and their families in the same manner that Jesus led through servanthood.

How does this idea of submission contrast with the way of the world?

What would change in your life if you sought to lead others through servanthood?

PRACTICE THIS

Take an opportunity this week to serve someone else in a specific way as a means of following Jesus.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

The Power of Encouragement

“Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.” PROVERBS 31:23

 

PONDER THIS

The woman described in Proverbs 31 is to her husband a helpmeet—a completer, an enhancer. This verse says her husband is known in the gates. The gates were the place of commerce in this day. This was like her husband being known in city hall or in the courthouse square. Her husband is a well-known citizen, but because God is extolling the wife here and not the husband, the implication is very clear that he is what he is because she is what she is. Likewise, I know I am what I am today, not only because of God, but because of my precious wife. I know that beyond any shadow of doubt. And that's what this verse is saying. Her husband is known in the gates. She is a woman who is behind her husband, encouraging her husband at every step.

Why is it important that wives learn to encourage their husbands?

Do you know of a couple who mutually encourage and appreciate one another in a godly manner?

PRACTICE THIS

Take time this week to show your appreciation to someone who is good at encouraging others.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

A Marriage Designed by God

“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’”

GENESIS 2:18

 

PONDER THIS

The word “helper” here is a noun, not a verb. God was not just saying He was going to give Adam some help. God could have simply given Adam a friend to help him pick fruit. But that’s not the idea. The idea is someone who was going to cooperate with him. Someone who would become a part of a team with him. Someone who would make him more than he could have been without that person. Someone to help Adam reach his full potential. Adam could not be what he ought to be without Eve, any more than I could be what I ought to be without my wife, whom God has given to me. Joyce has been this helper to me throughout our married life and our ministry.

How have you seen the best marriages you know function in the way discussed in today’s devotional?

If you are married, how has your spouse helped you be who God made you to be?

PRACTICE THIS

If you are married, take time to encourage your spouse by pointing out the ways God has blessed you through him or her. If you are not married, take time to encourage a married couple that exhibits these godly qualities.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

How Love Changes Your Home

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her.” EPHESIANS 5:25

 

PONDER THIS

The Bible says a husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, and that is an unconditional love. It is not performance-based love: “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). “For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly” (Romans 5:6). When you have unconditional love as Christ has for the Church, let me tell you what it’s going to do for your home: It’s going to give security in the place of fear. It’s going to give peace in the place of guilt. And it’s going to give joy that will replace anger. This kind of love is an act of the will. How does God love us? Do you think God loves us romantically? Do you think God loves us because we’re lovely? No, God loves us as an act of His will.

Would you say you regularly love as an act of the will? Why or why not?

What makes this difficult?

PRACTICE THIS

How might you practically show love to someone as an act of will this week? Take steps to actually do this.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

What is Your Most Important Relationship?

“And He answered and said to them, ‘Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning “made them male and female,” and said, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh”?’ MATTHEW 19:4-5 

 

PONDER THIS

The highest relationship in human relationships is not parent-child. The highest relationship is husband and wife. God says we are one flesh. We leave father and mother, but we cleave unto our mate. This is God’s plan for us. 

Parents are not the supreme commitment. Now, you’re to honor your parents, and if your parents are old and feeble and in need, it’s your responsibility to take care of them. The Bible says if you don’t do it, you’re worse than a nonbeliever. But your parents are not your supreme commitment, and your children are not your supreme commitment, according to the Bible. Mate to mate is higher than parent to child or child to parent.

Based on today’s text, is there anything you need to do to re prioritize the relationships in your life?

 

What are some ways you have seen others wrongly prioritize the relationships in their lives? How does each relationship get what it needs when all are prioritized rightly?

PRACTICE THIS

If you are married, prayerfully reflect on the ways you might prioritize your relationships rightly. If you are single, take time to pray for the relationships in your church.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Hedonism for Husbands and Wives

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:24–25)

There is a pattern of love in marriage ordained by God.

The roles of husband and wife are not the same. The husband is to take his special cues from Christ as the head of the church. The wife is to take her special cues from God’s design for the church as submissive to Christ.

In doing this, the sinful and damaging results of the fall begin to be reversed. The fall twisted man’s loving headship into hostile domination in some men, and lazy indifference in others. The fall twisted woman’s intelligent, willing submission into manipulative obsequiousness in some women, and brazen insubordination in others.

The redemption we anticipated when the Messiah finally came in Jesus Christ was not the dismantling of the created order of loving headship and willing submission, but a recovery of it. Wives, redeem your fallen submission by modeling it after God’s intention for a joyful church! Husbands, redeem your fallen headship by modeling it after God’s intention for the lavishly loving Christ!

I find in Ephesians 5:21–33 these two things: (1) the display of Christian Hedonism in marriage and (2) the direction its impulses should take.

Wives, seek your joy in the joy of your husband by affirming and honoring his God-ordained role as “head” or leader in your relationship. Husbands, seek your joy in the joy of your wife by accepting the responsibility to lead as Christ led the church and gave himself for her.

I would like to bear witness to God’s goodness in my life. I discovered Christian Hedonism the same year I got married, in 1968. Since then, Noël and I, in obedience to Jesus Christ, have pursued as passionately as we can the deepest, most lasting joys possible. All too imperfectly, all too half-heartedly at times, we have stalked our own joy in the joy of each other.

And we can testify together after over 50 years of marriage: For those who marry, this is the path to the heart’s desire. For us, marriage has been a matrix for Christian Hedonism. As each pursues joy in the joy of the other and fulfills a God-ordained role, the mystery of marriage as a parable of Christ and the church becomes manifest for his great glory and for our great joy.

John Piper 

The Mystery of Marriage

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31–32)

Here in Ephesians 5:31 Paul is quoting Genesis 2:24, which Moses spoke — and Jesus said God spoke through Moses (Matthew 19:5) — “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Paul says this word of God, spoken before the fall into sin, is a reference to Christ and the church and contains therefore a great mystery.

What this implies is that when God engaged to create man and woman and to ordain the union of marriage, he didn’t roll the dice or draw straws or flip a coin as to how they might be related to each other. He patterned marriage very purposefully after the relationship between his Son and the church, which he had planned from all eternity.

Therefore, marriage is a mystery — it contains and conceals a meaning far greater than what we see on the outside. God created man male and female and ordained marriage so that the eternal covenant relationship between Christ and his church would be imaged forth in the marriage union.

The inference Paul draws from this mystery is that the roles of husband and wife in marriage are not arbitrarily assigned, but are rooted in the distinctive roles of Christ and his church.

Those of us who are married need to ponder again and again how mysterious and wonderful it is that God grants us in marriage the privilege to image forth stupendous divine realities infinitely bigger and greater than ourselves.

This mystery of Christ and the church is the foundation of the pattern of love that Paul describes for marriage. It is not enough to say that each spouse should pursue his or her own joy in the joy of the other. That is true. But it is not enough. It is also important to say that husbands and wives should consciously copy the relationship God intended for Christ and the church. That is, each should seek to live after the distinctive model of God’s pure and glad design for Christ and the church.

I hope you will take this seriously whether you are single or married, old or young. The revelation of the covenant-keeping Christ and his covenant-keeping church hangs on it.

John Piper 

Jesus’s Joy in Marriage

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor. (Ephesians 5:25–27)

The reason there is so much misery in marriage is not that husbands and wives seek their own pleasure, but that they do not seek it in the pleasure of their spouses. The biblical mandate to husbands and wives is to seek your own joy in the joy of your spouse.

There is scarcely a more hedonistic passage in the Bible than the one on marriage in Ephesians 5:25–30. Husbands are told to love their wives the way Christ loved the church.

How did he love the church? Verse 25 says he “gave himself up for her.” But why? Verse 26 says, “that he might sanctify” and cleanse her. But why did he want to do that? Verse 27 answers, “that he might present the church to himself in splendor!”

Ah! There it is! “For the joy that was set before him [he] endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). What joy? The joy of marriage to his bride, the church. The joy of presenting the church to himself in blood-bought splendor.

Jesus does not intend to have a dirty and unholy wife. Therefore, he was willing to die to sanctify and cleanse his betrothed so he could present to himself a wife “in splendor.” He gained the desire of his heart by giving himself up in suffering for the good of his bride.

Then Paul applies this to husbands in verses 28–30: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”

Jesus had said to husbands and wives — and everyone else — “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Marriage is an extraordinary place of application. It is not merely “as” you love yourself. But you are loving yourself. When you love the person with whom God has made you one flesh, you are loving yourself. That is, your greatest joy is found in seeking the greatest joy of your spouse.

John Piper 

Find Healing after Divorce

“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.”

MATTHEW 7:24-25

 

PONDER THIS

There is a dangerous precipice called divorce. Our job as a church is to build a wall as high as we can, as thick as we can, as strong as we can, and say to our kids, “Don’t fall over that precipice. It’s dangerous. It’s destructive. Don’t do it.” But that’s not all. For those who have had that experience of divorce, we’re going to keep an ambulance ready to minister to them and show them the love and the grace of God every one of us has received.

If you’re divorced and you know it was your fault, ask God to forgive you and help you be reconciled to your partner. As much as is in your power and is appropriate, go to that person and make every wrong right, extend forgiveness, and receive the forgiveness of God. If you have been divorced against your will, ask God to take the bitterness out of your heart and forgive that person, even if he or she won’t repent. Have the same the spirit of forgiveness as Jesus when He prayed from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Then, take the remainder of your life and give it to God. God is not finished with you. How we relate with our family, stay committed to our family, and love our family sacrificially is a beautiful testimony of Jesus. Let your home be a light where Christ shines. Don’t build on sand; build your house on the rock.

Who in your life has experienced divorce? How can you love and care for them?

How have you been hurt or wounded by a broken relationship of any type? How have you allowed Christ to heal those wounds?

PRACTICE THIS

Make a meal or show generosity to a person or family you know is hurting.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Change Your Home Overnight

“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” MATTHEW 5:31-32

Ponder This

If you are married, you made a vow to your spouse. It is not only your happiness, but also his or her welfare you need to be concerned about. You made a vow to Almighty God. A vow is more than a one-time commitment. It is a promise with a commitment attached to it. You may feel tired or frustrated with the person you married but think about the commitment you made to him or her. Are you looking out for his or her welfare? Think about the commitment you made to God. Do you trust Him to heal your marriage, even when you feel done?

Marriages are not healed overnight and even if you desire to put your marriage back together, it’s not going to be a wonderful fairy tale moment. As a matter of fact, it may be tortuous. While marriages are not healed overnight, the direction of your marriage can be changed overnight. That’s the important thing—that you turn to God and begin in the right direction. It may take you a long time to get there, but at least you’re headed the right way. By a decision, a consecration, and a surrender of your will, the direction of your home can be changed—not by your own strength but by the power of our Savior.

What is the direction of your life right now? Are you going toward God or away from Him? Explain.

What are some areas of your marriage or life that need to be healed by God?

Practice This

Pray for your spouse; if you are not married, pray for a couple you know.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Hedonism for Husbands and Wives

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:24–25)

There is a pattern of love in marriage ordained by God.

The roles of husband and wife are not the same. The husband is to take his special cues from Christ as the head of the church. The wife is to take her special cues from God’s design for the church as submissive to Christ.

In doing this, the sinful and damaging results of the fall begin to be reversed. The fall twisted man’s loving headship into hostile domination in some men, and lazy indifference in others. The fall twisted woman’s intelligent, willing submission into manipulative obsequiousness in some women, and brazen insubordination in others.

The redemption we anticipated when the Messiah finally came in Jesus Christ was not the dismantling of the created order of loving headship and willing submission, but a recovery of it. Wives, redeem your fallen submission by modeling it after God’s intention for a joyful church! Husbands, redeem your fallen headship by modeling it after God’s intention for the lavishly loving Christ!

I find in Ephesians 5:21–33 these two things: (1) the display of Christian Hedonism in marriage and (2) the direction its impulses should take.

Wives, seek your joy in the joy of your husband by affirming and honoring his God-ordained role as “head” or leader in your relationship. Husbands, seek your joy in the joy of your wife by accepting the responsibility to lead as Christ led the church and gave himself for her.

I would like to bear witness to God’s goodness in my life. I discovered Christian Hedonism the same year I got married, in 1968. Since then, Noël and I, in obedience to Jesus Christ, have pursued as passionately as we can the deepest, most lasting joys possible. All too imperfectly, all too half-heartedly at times, we have stalked our own joy in the joy of each other.

And we can testify together after over 50 years of marriage: For those who marry, this is the path to the heart’s desire. For us, marriage has been a matrix for Christian Hedonism. As each pursues joy in the joy of the other and fulfills a God-ordained role, the mystery of marriage as a parable of Christ and the church becomes manifest for his great glory and for our great joy.

John Piper 

The Mystery of Marriage

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31–32)

Here in Ephesians 5:31 Paul is quoting Genesis 2:24, which Moses spoke — and Jesus said God spoke through Moses (Matthew 19:5) — “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Paul says this word of God, spoken before the fall into sin, is a reference to Christ and the church and contains therefore a great mystery.

What this implies is that when God engaged to create man and woman and to ordain the union of marriage, he didn’t roll the dice or draw straws or flip a coin as to how they might be related to each other. He patterned marriage very purposefully after the relationship between his Son and the church, which he had planned from all eternity.

Therefore, marriage is a mystery — it contains and conceals a meaning far greater than what we see on the outside. God created man male and female and ordained marriage so that the eternal covenant relationship between Christ and his church would be imaged forth in the marriage union.

The inference Paul draws from this mystery is that the roles of husband and wife in marriage are not arbitrarily assigned, but are rooted in the distinctive roles of Christ and his church.

Those of us who are married need to ponder again and again how mysterious and wonderful it is that God grants us in marriage the privilege to image forth stupendous divine realities infinitely bigger and greater than ourselves.

This mystery of Christ and the church is the foundation of the pattern of love that Paul describes for marriage. It is not enough to say that each spouse should pursue his or her own joy in the joy of the other. That is true. But it is not enough. It is also important to say that husbands and wives should consciously copy the relationship God intended for Christ and the church. That is, each should seek to live after the distinctive model of God’s pure and glad design for Christ and the church.

I hope you will take this seriously whether you are single or married, old or young. The revelation of the covenant-keeping Christ and his covenant-keeping church hangs on it.

John Piper 

Jesus’s Joy in Marriage

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor. (Ephesians 5:25–27)

The reason there is so much misery in marriage is not that husbands and wives seek their own pleasure, but that they do not seek it in the pleasure of their spouses. The biblical mandate to husbands and wives is to seek your own joy in the joy of your spouse.

There is scarcely a more hedonistic passage in the Bible than the one on marriage in Ephesians 5:25–30. Husbands are told to love their wives the way Christ loved the church.

How did he love the church? Verse 25 says he “gave himself up for her.” But why? Verse 26 says, “that he might sanctify” and cleanse her. But why did he want to do that? Verse 27 answers, “that he might present the church to himself in splendor!”

Ah! There it is! “For the joy that was set before him [he] endured the cross” (Hebrews 12:2). What joy? The joy of marriage to his bride, the church. The joy of presenting the church to himself in blood-bought splendor.

Jesus does not intend to have a dirty and unholy wife. Therefore, he was willing to die to sanctify and cleanse his betrothed so he could present to himself a wife “in splendor.” He gained the desire of his heart by giving himself up in suffering for the good of his bride.

Then Paul applies this to husbands in verses 28–30: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”

Jesus had said to husbands and wives — and everyone else — “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Marriage is an extraordinary place of application. It is not merely “as” you love yourself. But you are loving yourself. When you love the person with whom God has made you one flesh, you are loving yourself. That is, your greatest joy is found in seeking the greatest joy of your spouse.

John Piper 

Steering Your Marriage with Your Words

PRAY OVER THIS

“For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things. See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.” James 3:2-6

 

PONDER THIS

Just as the horse is controlled by the bit and the ship is controlled by the rudder, your words give direction to your home. If you don’t like the way your marriage is headed, you’d better watch your words. Your words can bring your ship into a safe harbor, or it can put it on the rocks. Not only does James say the tongue brings direction, but he also says the tongue may bring destruction. Look back at verse 6. If you have a torch tongue, you can burn down your marriage. Fire is a wonderful servant, but it’s a poor master. Words can warm a heart or burn down a home. The tongue may bring destruction. The tongue may bring defilement. You can poison your marriage with your tongue. Our words matter: They can be so destructive if we let them go out of the control of God. Our words are formative: They can give direction to our families. This is why we are to trust God with even the small detail of words.

When was the last time you said something that hurt someone else? What do you need to do considering today’s passage?

What are some words of encouragement your family may need?

PRACTICE THIS

Encourage and uplift members of your family today with a meaningful text, note, or conversation.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Intimacy: A Valuable Gift from God

PRAY OVER THIS

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5

 

PONDER THIS

Intimacy in marriage is a form of communication. It’s a way of knowing someone. It’s a way of saying, “I love you” that cannot be put into words. It’s very beautiful. Sometimes we have been taught to think of sex as dirty or impure. Outside the bonds of matrimony, it is. But inside the bonds of matrimony, it’s pure and wonderful. So, when the Bible says, “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14), or “Flee sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18), it’s important to understand God is not trying to keep sex from you; God is keeping sex for you.

In my office, I have a picture on the wall. It’s an ordinary picture: if someone stole it, there’d be no great loss, and if it got damaged, there’d be no great problem. But if it were a Rembrandt, a Van Gogh, or something like that, it would probably be in a vault because it would be so valuable. I wouldn’t want it marred, misused, or abused. When God puts these high walls around sex it’s because it is so valuable. And God wants us to cherish it as His special gift.

What were you taught about sex as a child? How has that affected you as an adult?

How do you treat something when it is valuable to you?

PRACTICE THIS

Thank God for making valuable things and ask Him to help you prize the things He values.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

God Wants More for Our Marriages

PRAY OVER THIS

“In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:10-11

 

PONDER THIS

When you were dating, you likely had a list of desires in another person. You thought, “I want somebody good-looking or beautiful. I want somebody who thinks I’m funny. I want somebody with a good personality. I want somebody with certain physical attributes and perhaps certain intellectual gifts; somebody who can make me feel good.” And the time comes when you finally say to that young lady or that young man, “I love you.” That may be true, but some people say this to mean, “I want you because you meet a particular need in my life.” That kind of love is not the love God is talking about that binds husbands and wives together. As a matter of fact, that kind of love is very conditional. And if those are the reasons you got married—because of somebody’s charm or beauty—then your marriage is in danger. Now I’m not saying charm, wit, and beauty are not important, but those things fade.

Can you see how dangerous that kind of conditional love is to a marriage? It is rooted in self. God calls us to more.

What is the difference between unconditional love and conditional love?

What are some ways we tend to love people conditionally?

PRACTICE THIS

Thank someone who has shown you unconditional love.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Who Is Getting Married?

PRAY OVER THIS

“‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh;’ so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Mark 10:7-9

 

PONDER THIS

Our spirit is that part of our nature that truly makes us in the image of God, for the Bible says God is Spirit (John 4:24). And with our spirit we have spiritual relationships. We know God through the spirit. The Bible says when we get saved, God’s Spirit bears witness with our spirit that we’re children of God (Romans 8:16). You are body, soul, and spirit. When your body is right, you’re healthy. When your soul is right, you’re happy. When your spirit is right, you’re holy. And God wants you to be healthy, happy, and holy. Now what does that have to do with marriage?

Well, you need to understand who’s getting married. A body, soul, and spirit is marrying another body, soul, and spirit. Here is what God is saying: They are no longer two but become one flesh. God’s math is one plus one equals one. But how are you to be one? You’re to be one physically, one psychologically, and one spiritually. There’s to be the union of your bodies because you are a body. There’s to be the union of your souls because you are a soul. And there’s to be the union of your spirit because you are a spirit.

Why is it important to understand ourselves as soul, spirit, and body?

Are there married couples you admire? How do they reflect oneness in their relationships?

PRACTICE THIS

Pray for the married couples you know to be strengthened in unity in body, soul, and spirit.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

How Do You Work Through Conflict?

PRAY OVER THIS

“And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.’ Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name.” Genesis 2:18-19

 

PONDER THIS

God’s plan for marriage is one plus one equals one. “Two . . . become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5), and “What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). The Bible says, “And they were both naked . . . and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25). What does that mean? It means they were so unified that there was no shame and no intimidation. They were willing and able to share everything.

There is no way you can win in a war with your mate. Why? Because you and your mate are one. And if you damage him or her, you don’t win, you lose. You are one flesh. A man at war with his wife is at war with himself. Any woman at war with her husband is at war with herself. Jesus alone can build the homes we need. Jesus is the greatest home builder; Satan is the greatest home wrecker.

When were determined to win an argument? How did you conduct yourself at that time?

When did you work through a conflict? What was good about that? What was difficult about that?

PRACTICE THIS

Pray and ask God to help you work through conflict in a way that makes much of Him and His grace.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers