Train, Don't Just Teach

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” PROVERBS 22:6

 

PONDER THIS

Are you training your children? The entry for the word train in the dictionary says this: to prepare for a contest, to instruct by exercise, to drill, to form to a proper shape, to discipline for use. You don’t learn how to play basketball by reading a book. You are trained. You are coached. Likewise, you have to train and coach your children. You have to pray. You have to teach. You have to plead. You have to show by example. Do you have your children in a Bible-believing church? Do you have them in Sunday School under a Christian teacher? Are you training in the home by precept and by example? We’re to train. If you teach a child and that’s all you do, you’ll teach him or her one thing, but somebody else can come along and teach them something else. But when you train, they get something through the pores of their skin into their very psyche. There’s a difference between teaching and training.

What are some ways you were trained by your parents or that you seek to train your children now?

What are some ways we must continue to train ourselves as adults?

PRACTICE THIS

Write out a list of disciplines you want to develop in your life and the lives of your children, then make a plan for how you will begin developing those disciplines.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Our Children Respond to Encouragement

“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” EPHESIANS 4:31-32

 

PONDER THIS

It can be hard for us to hear the problems of our children. You may think the problems kids have are not big problems compared to your problems. But they’re big to the kid, and that’s what matters. Cry with them when they hurt, when their grade-school romances break up. Be concerned with them when a pet dies. You show them you care about them when you care about their world with them.

Children need encouragement like plants need water. Somebody gave me a houseplant a while back. I put it in my study. It was beautiful for about a week and a half, and then I looked over and it had turned down. I thought, “What happened to my plant?” Well, I hadn’t put a drop of water on it. I poured about three or four cups of water on it. In several hours that plant was back upright and looked healthy. Encouragement is to children what water is to dehydrated plants: They need you to hear them and encourage them in the challenges they face.

What are some challenges you have faced with being compassionate when listening to someone in the next generation? How can God help you in those areas?

When did an adult make an impact on you by being there when you had a difficult time as a child? What was special about that? How could you pass that on to someone else?

PRACTICE THIS

Connect with those in the next generation. Listen to their struggles in life and pray with and for them.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

What Our Children Really Need

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” PROVERBS 22:6

 

PONDER THIS

King David sinned terribly, but when God convicted him, he repented and cried out to God for mercy. On the other hand, Pharaoh was a fool. When God judged Pharaoh, Pharaoh hardened his heart further. When your child is going through rebellion and acting like a fool, it is easy to give the biggest punishment you can think of and forget it! The problem is, all you’re going to do is to make him or her hate you more. A hundred stripes on the back of a fool will not do any good: it’s not going to change anything.

God gave you His Word to guide your life and equip you to guide theirs. If I could start over parenting my children, I would saturate them in the Proverbs. I would teach them the Beatitudes so that they might learn these simple, basic truths. They need much more than your punishment when they are struggling. They need your guidance. They need you to point them to the beauty of God’s grace. They need you to show them the way of Christ.

What are some things your family taught you about living God’s way? What did you learn?

How has God’s Word equipped you to pour into others? How is His Word impacting your life now?

PRACTICE THIS

Spend some extra time in God’s Word and ask Him to equip you to live in His way.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Godly Parenting Starts with Surrender

“Praise the Lord! Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who delights greatly in His commandments. His descendants will be mighty on earth; the generation of the upright will be blessed.” PSALM 112:1-2

 

PONDER THIS

When my first son was born and I first laid eyes on him, something changed in my heart. I thought, “Oh, God, I am a daddy, and I’ve got a son to raise!” Joyce and I were going through college, and we were living in a little twenty-five-foot house trailer. I went home, sat on that flowered couch in that little house trailer, and then got on my knees. I said, “Oh God, if I never do anything else, I want to be a godly daddy.” I said, “God, I give You my son, and I give You myself.” And I have claimed the promise of today’s verse many times.

Don’t you want your children to be mighty on this earth for God? Don’t you want your generation to be blessed? It is a joy, a privilege, and a responsibility to raise your children for God. But you must have this vision first, you must surrender first, and they will learn from seeing how you live.

What does it look like to devote something to God? How does that change the way you treat that thing?

Who is someone devoted to God who impacted you? What was different about that person’s life?

PRACTICE THIS

Consider what needs to change for you to live your life devoted to God, then take that next step of faith.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Tending Gardens

““Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.”

DEUTERONOMY 6:4-7

 

PONDER THIS

Do you have a garden? I don’t have a garden. I don’t like gardens. There’s too much weeding, too much fertilizing, too much watering, and too much care. It’s tough to have a garden. Regardless of your interest in gardening, you’ve got another kind of garden. You’ve got some olive plants. And caring for those plants takes weeding, it takes watering, it takes fertilizing, it takes cultivating, it takes discipline, it takes instruction, and it takes demonstration. Most of all, it takes time.

I read the other day that if a father does not spend quality time with his daughter, he greatly hinders her journey in life. She can become distant or look for attention from someone else. She’s looking for a father figure. She might become vulnerable or may have a negative view of men in general. Investing in the next generation takes time, but it is worth it. Be intentional about the moments you have with the next generation. Children and young people need to know your love and that you have taken the time to care.

How have you been shown love from someone spending time with you?

What is hard about taking time to love others? What is beneficial about it?

PRACTICE THIS

Think about who you need to pour into in the next generation and reach out to set up dedicated time with them.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Nurturing the Olive Plants

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.”

PSALM 128:3-4

 

PONDER THIS

If you lived in the Middle East, you’d understand why the Psalmist described a child as an olive plant. An olive plant needs to be cultivated and cared for until it becomes an olive tree. A mature olive tree is green, beautiful, productive, valuable, and very stable.

There are olive trees in the Garden of Gethsemane that some believe are two thousand years old and may have been there when Jesus Christ prayed in that garden. When nurtured, an olive tree’s impact spans across generations. God’s Word says children are like olive plants around your table. An olive plant, like any fragile plant, needs to be cared for; it needs to be nurtured. This is the tenderness and intentionality we need to exercise in caring for our children. The days fly by, and we need to be thoughtful about the ways we are raising them in God’s likeness so that they will grow into mature and steady trees for His glory.

What are some ways you are pouring into the next generation now? What are some ways you can be intentional about your time so you can nurture others in the things of God?

How have you been nurtured and raised up in the things of God? Where did you miss out on that? How did those experiences impact you?

PRACTICE THIS

Plan a meal or a visit with someone in the next generation. Ask how you can support that person in walking with Jesus.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

God Only Makes Originals

PRAY OVER THIS

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

 

PONDER THIS

God never makes copies; He only makes originals. And every one of us has those little idiosyncrasies and things that God has put into us. Your child comes with a certain collection of genes, talents, and abilities that can grow into spiritual gifts. You are wise as a parent if you look at that child and see the way he or she should go.

If you tried to bend the trunk of a mighty oak, you couldn’t do it. But if you take the mighty oak when it’s just starting as a little branch or twig, you can bend it. That’s what God is saying, “There is a way the child should go.” We must train them while they are young, and we need to study them as individuals. Children are different. God has wired them differently and gifted them all in different ways to be used for His glory.

What are some ways you were trained as a child? How did that help you?

How has God uniquely wired you? Who was an adult that understood your unique qualities?

PRACTICE THIS

Think about those you know in the next generation. What are some gifts they have that are unique? Spend some time getting to know how God uniquely wired them.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Do You View Children as a Gift from God?

PRAY OVER THIS

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.”

Psalm 127:3

 

PONDER THIS

Children are not a penalty or a burden. Children are meant to be a blessing. Some people today have believed, “If you have children, they will cramp your style. And if you do have them, don’t have very many. And don’t let that keep you from fulfillment. Don’t let them keep you from your career and from being ‘somebody.’” Others have very selfish ideas about children. They say, “Well, you know, children are so expensive. If I have children, or if I have more than one or two, I might not be able to drive the kind of car I want to drive. It costs to educate them. I might not be able to live in the kind of house I want to live in. I’d be tied down. We wouldn’t be able to go to Hawaii on our vacation. Maybe it would be better not to have those children. They might be a burden. After all, children make a rich man poor.”

But this is backward. Children make a poor man rich. A rich man can’t take his money to Heaven. I’m taking all my children to Heaven with me. Children are the heritage of the Lord. They’re a gift of God. My heart goes out to people who want children and cannot have them. But for those who are able, you want to be blessed? Oh, children are a heartache. They’re a pain. They’re problems. Sure, they are—but they’re worth it. Children are the heritage of the Lord.

Where might you have had wrong views about children?

How can you encourage your children by telling them the ways in which they’ve blessed you? If you don’t have children of your own, who are some children you might encourage in this way?

PRACTICE THIS

This week, take time to encourage a child by telling him or her how he or she has blessed you.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Priorities and Prayer Shape The Family

PRAY OVER THIS

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

 

PONDER THIS

Your family may hear people preach about God, but the home is the real classroom. How will your family members see God at work in your home? First, they’ll see God in your worship. They’re going to watch you when company comes, whether you miss church. They’re going to watch your priorities in your worship. They’ll see the way you spend your money. They’re going to watch how you use your time. Let them see God as a vibrant reality in your life.

Our kids know we’re not perfect, but our kids need to know God is number one. If I were to bring one of your children up here and ask, “What is the priority of your parents?” What would that child say? Let your children see God at work in your home. The next step is to cover your family members constantly with prayer. If you are the archer, and the children are the arrows, the bow is prayer. That’s what sends them forth. A parent without prayer is like an archer with an unstrung bow. You need to pray for your children regularly.

What priorities have you observed in people you have looked up to spiritually?

Who regularly prays for you? How has that impacted your life?

PRACTICE THIS

Take some time to pray for your children, your grandchildren, or the people you mentor.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

We Are to Train

PRAY OVER THIS

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

 

PONDER THIS

Are you training your children? The entry for the word train in the dictionary says this: to prepare for a contest, to instruct by exercise, to drill, to form to a proper shape, to discipline for use. You don’t learn how to play basketball by reading a book. You are trained. You are coached. Likewise, you have to train and coach your children. You have to pray. You have to teach. You have to plead. You have to show by example. Do you have your children in a Bible-believing church? Do you have them in Sunday School under a Christian teacher? Are you training in the home by precept and by example? We’re to train. If you teach a child and that’s all you do, you’ll teach him or her one thing, but somebody else can come along and teach them something else. But when you train, they get something through the pores of their skin into their very psyche. There’s a difference between teaching and training.

What are some ways you were trained by your parents or that you seek to train your children now?

What are some ways we must continue to train ourselves as adults?

PRACTICE THIS

Write out a list of disciplines you want to develop in your life and the lives of your children, then make a plan for how you will begin developing those disciplines.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Who Are the Children of Abraham?

“In you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” (Genesis 12:3)

You who hope in Christ and follow him in the obedience of faith are Abraham’s descendants and heirs of his covenant promises.

God said to Abraham in Genesis 17:4, “Behold, my covenant is with you, and you shall be the father of a multitude of nations.” But Genesis makes plain that Abraham did not father a multitude of nations in a physical or political sense. Therefore, the meaning of God’s promise was probably that a multitude of nations would somehow enjoy the blessings of sonship even though physically unrelated to Abraham.

That’s no doubt what God meant in Genesis 12:3 when he said to Abraham, “In you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” From the very beginning, God had in view that Jesus Christ would be the descendant of Abraham and that everyone who trusts in Christ would become an heir of Abraham’s promise. Paul says in Galatians 3:29, “If you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.”

So, when God said to Abraham 4,000 years ago, “Behold, my covenant is with you, and you shall be the father of a multitude of nations,” he opened the way for any one of us, no matter what nation we belong to, to become a child of Abraham and an heir of God’s promises. All we have to do is share the faith of Abraham — that is, bank our hope on God’s promises, so much so that, if obedience requires it, we could give up our dearest possession like Abraham gave up Isaac.

We don’t become heirs of Abraham’s promises by working for God, but by being confident that God works for us. “[Abraham] grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised” (Romans 4:20–21). That’s why Abraham could obey God even when obedience looked like a dead-end street. He trusted God to do the impossible — like raise his son from the dead.

Faith in God’s promises — or today we would say, faith in Christ, who is the confirmation of God’s promises — is the way to become a child of Abraham; obedience is the evidence that faith is genuine (Genesis 22:12–19). Therefore, Jesus says in John 8:39, “If you were Abraham’s children, you would be doing the works Abraham did.”

Children of Abraham are people from all nations who put their hope in Christ and, like Abraham on Mount Moriah, therefore don’t let the loss of their most precious earthly possession stop their obedience.

You who hope in Jesus Christ and follow him in the obedience of faith are the descendants of Abraham and heirs of his covenant promises.

John Piper 

Do You Desire Godly Children?

PRAY OVER THIS

“‘For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition which I asked of Him. Therefore I also have lent him to the Lord; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the Lord.’ So they worshiped the Lord there.” 1 Samuel 1:27-28

 

PONDER THIS

If our desire is for godly children, then our goal will be to live as godly parents. Have desires for your children. Have goals for yourself. Say, “By God’s grace, I will be a magnificent mom like Hannah was, a woman of grace.” Hannah prayed, “Lord, I want him to serve You.”

Do you know what Joyce and I do every morning that we’re together? We sit at the breakfast table and hold hands, and we pray for each of the children and the grandchildren by name. We’ve done this for many days, morning, and evening, over and over again. We’re not praying that they’re going to be rich. We’re not praying that they’re going to be famous. We are praying that they will know and love God with all their hearts. That’s what we want from the Lord.

When you look at the goals you have for your children, are you certain they are worthy goals?

Who do you need to submit before the Lord today, recognizing that He is in control, and you are not?

PRACTICE THIS

Write out a list of desires you have for loved ones in your life. Submit these desires before God. Commit to praying God’s will for your loved ones.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Evaluate Your Children’s Friends

PRAY OVER THIS

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

 

READ THIS

As parents and spiritual mentors, God has given us the responsibility of guiding children toward wisdom. One of the ways this is most important is in the area of friendship. For better or worse, young people are greatly influenced by their friends. Often, you can evaluate the spiritual condition of your children by their friends.

We should warn our children against hanging around with those who reject the truth; we must be firm with who we allow them to be friends with. As parents, we must help them understand the dangers that are involved in their choices, carefully guard their company, and teach them the importance of their choices.

You’re free to choose, but you’re not free to choose the consequences of your choice. After you choose, then your choice chooses for you.

CONSIDER THIS

How have you experienced the reality that, “after you choose, your choice chooses for you”?

How might sharing your own experiences with your children, or children you influence, help to guide them toward wisdom?

DO THIS

Take time to invest in a young person today by sharing your own experiences and the wisdom you have gained from following Jesus.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Set Boundaries for Your Children

PRAY OVER THIS

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

 

READ THIS

As parents, our chief desire for our children should be that they love God and honor Him with their lives. The Book of Proverbs is full of wisdom for those who want to raise kids that count in the cause of Christ.

We must give them wise instruction. When we teach our children Scripture, it should be joined with training, so they can learn how to apply it for themselves when they are grown.

We should also give them reasonable restrictions. Limitations don’t bind children; really they set them free. When we establish restrictions, our children will naturally push against them. If the restrictions give, our children will lack confidence in themselves. This is the reason so many children are conquered by the things of this world.

We must also give them a listening ear. We must be ready when they’re ready to talk and make time for it.

Finally, give them a happy environment; our homes should be full of laughter, fun, joy, and silliness.

CONSIDER THIS

How does providing children with proper boundaries show them love and care?

Why is it actually unloving to have no boundaries for our children?

DO THIS

Think today about the ways God has given you loving boundaries that are for your good. How might you use this to communicate with your children about the boundaries you have set for them?

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Raising a Godly Kid

PRAY OVER THIS

“My son, hear the instruction of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.”

(Proverbs 1:8)

 

READ THIS

As parents, our chief desire for our children should be that they love God and honor Him with their lives. The Book of Proverbs is full of wisdom for those who want to raise kids that count in the cause of Christ.

We must first give them an example. (See Proverbs 1:8.) Our children will learn more from our lifestyle than they will learn from our words. Good character is not so much taught as it is caught; it must be demonstrated through us.

Second, we should give our children unconditional love, regardless of their misbehavior. This doesn’t mean we give them everything they want. True love is not giving someone what he or she wants; rather, love gives what one needs.

We must give our children constant encouragement. There’s a difference between praise and encouragement. Praise focuses on the accomplishments of the child, while encouragement focuses on the actual child. Our children need to know they are not a sum of their achievements and that we love them for who they are.

CONSIDER THIS

How did you “catch” good character growing up? How did this influence you throughout your life?

How does displaying unconditional love to those in our lives point them to the love of God?

DO THIS

Take time to encourage a child in your life this week. Remember, praise focuses on accomplishments, but encouragement focuses on the actual child.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Raising Godly Children | Part II

PRAY OVER THIS

“Then Eli answered and said, ‘Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition which you have asked of Him.’”

1 Samuel 1:17

 

READ THIS

1 Samuel 1 tells the story of Hannah, a barren woman who wanted more than anything else to have a son. After much prayer, God gave Hannah a son named Samuel, who was considered one of the greatest prophets of the Old Testament.

Hannah’s story offers five powerful principles for raising godly children. Yesterday, we considered the first two; Hannah followed God’s priority for her and she was a praying mother.

The third principle of raising godly children is the Principle of Purpose: Hannah’s reason for wanting a child was to dedicate him back to God. She wanted to glorify God through her child. Our prayers for our children should not regard their wealth or power, but how they will glorify God.

The fourth is the Principle of Persistence. Hannah was a woman of prayer, but not just prayer easily uttered and soon forgotten. She continued to pray before and after this child was born. By her example, we learn to never waver in our prayers, no matter how dark the circumstances.

Finally, there’s the Principle of Persuasion. A mother makes the deepest impression on a child; her chief weapon in her arsenal is the influence she has over her children.

CONSIDER THIS

Hannah had the right purpose in mind with her desire for a child. How can we know if our desires are in line with God’s purposes or only our own?

Who have you been given influence over? How are you using this influence for God’s glory?

DO THIS

What is something you have persisted in prayer for or feel the need now to persist in prayer over? Continue or begin today a persistent pattern of prayer for this matter.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Raising Godly Children | Part I

PRAY OVER THIS

“And she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish.”

1 Samuel 1:10

 

READ THIS

It's well been said that the head of the home is the husband, but the heart of the home is the mother. Perhaps the most powerful and influential class of people in the world today are mothers.

1 Samuel 1 tells the story of Hannah, a barren woman who wanted more than anything else to have a son. After much prayer, God gave Hannah a son named Samuel who was considered one of the greatest prophets of the Old Testament.

Hannah’s story offers five powerful principles for raising godly children.

The first is the Principle of Proper Priority. Hannah had a God-given instinct to be a mother. She recognized that there is no greater earthly blessing than children.

The second principle is the Power of Prayer. The time to begin to raise godly children is before they're born and even before they're conceived.

Hannah is one of several women in the Bible who were considered barren and were later given children by God; other examples are Sarah, Rachel, Ruth, and Elizabeth. Their children went on to bless the world and glorify God. Understanding this, we should begin praying for our children before they are ever conceived.

CONSIDER THIS

God gave Hannah an instinct to be a mother. What are some instincts God has given you?

Hannah prayed about the desires of her heart to be a mother. How likely are you to bring the desires of your heart before the Lord in prayer?

DO THIS

Write out some instincts God has given you and think about ways you might use them to glorify Him.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Are We Training Our Children?

PRAY OVER THIS

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

 

READ THIS

Are we training our children? The word train in the dictionary says this: “to prepare for a contest, to instruct by exercise, to drill, to form to a proper shape, to discipline for use.” Great basketball players do not learn how to play basketball by reading a book. They are trained. They are coached. We have to train and coach our children. We have to pray. We have to teach. We have to plead. We have to show by example.

If we teach our children and that’s all we do, we’ll teach them one thing, but someone else can come along and teach them something else. But when we train them, they get something through the pores of their skin into their very psyche through this training. There’s a difference between teaching and training.

CONSIDER THIS

If you have children, have you made a pattern of training them, or have you simply taught them without example? Explain.

Where have you found it most valuable to be trained in something and not only taught?

DO THIS

Take time this week to train someone else—whether a child or another person close to you—in a practice of the Christian life.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Children Who Honor Their Parents

PRAY OVER THIS

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

Exodus 20:12

 

READ THIS

We can be children of happy mothers when we follow God’s command to honor our parents.

We first do this by obeying our parents when we are young. Disobedience is a serious sin. It is not weakness; it is wickedness. Disobedience invites the judgment of God; obedience invites the blessings of God.

Second, we care for our parents when they are old. As we care for them, we remember that our parents loved us in spite of our faults; we must love them in spite of their faults.

Third, we honor our parents at all times. We show respect and express gratefulness. Our gratitude blesses our parents more than we could ever know.

Fourth, we honor our parents when we listen to their counsel. Our parents have the advantage of being further down the road of life than us. They love us and have our best interests in mind.

Last of all, we show our parents love, remembering what we owe them. They gave us life. Their blood flows through our veins.

CONSIDER THIS

How can we continually honor our parents, even as we acknowledge that they have not been perfect?

How does honoring the good things about our parents point us to the perfect fatherhood of God?

DO THIS

Take time to honor your parents today in specific ways. If they are living, reach out to them with encouragement. If they are not, take time to thank God for the good ways they influenced and shaped your life.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

What are You Taking to Heaven?

BIBLE MEDITATION

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord." Psalm 128:3-4

 

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT

The greatest wealth you have is not in the bank. If you have children, your greatest wealth is your children. “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. They shall not be ashamed but shall speak with their enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:4-5).

I’ve heard it said, “Children make a rich man poor.” They've got it exactly backward. They make a poor man rich. Friend, no one, rich or poor, can take their money to Heaven. But I'm taking my children to Heaven.

ACTION POINT

Thank God for a Christian family. Thank God for the things that really matter! “Godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6). That godliness comes when we give our hearts to Jesus Christ and trust Him as our Lord and Savior.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers