What Our Children Really Need

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” PROVERBS 22:6

 

PONDER THIS

King David sinned terribly, but when God convicted him, he repented and cried out to God for mercy. On the other hand, Pharaoh was a fool. When God judged Pharaoh, Pharaoh hardened his heart further. When your child is going through rebellion and acting like a fool, it is easy to give the biggest punishment you can think of and forget it! The problem is, all you’re going to do is to make him or her hate you more. A hundred stripes on the back of a fool will not do any good: it’s not going to change anything.

God gave you His Word to guide your life and equip you to guide theirs. If I could start over parenting my children, I would saturate them in the Proverbs. I would teach them the Beatitudes so that they might learn these simple, basic truths. They need much more than your punishment when they are struggling. They need your guidance. They need you to point them to the beauty of God’s grace. They need you to show them the way of Christ.

What are some things your family taught you about living God’s way? What did you learn?

How has God’s Word equipped you to pour into others? How is His Word impacting your life now?

PRACTICE THIS

Spend some extra time in God’s Word and ask Him to equip you to live in His way.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Suffering That Strengthens Faith

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. (James 1:2–3)

Strange as it may seem, one of the primary purposes of being shaken by suffering is to make our faith more unshakable.

Faith is like muscle tissue: if you stress it to the limit, it gets stronger, not weaker. That’s what James means here. When your faith is threatened and tested and stretched to the breaking point, the result is greater capacity to endure. He calls it steadfastness.

God loves faith so much that he will test it to the breaking point so as to keep it pure and strong. For example, he did this to Paul according to 2 Corinthians 1:8–9,

We do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

The words “but that was to” show that there was a purpose in this extreme suffering: it was in order that — for the purpose that — Paul would not rely on himself and his resources, but on God — specifically the promised grace of God in raising the dead.

God so values our wholehearted faith that he will, graciously, if necessary, take away everything else in the world that we might be tempted to rely on — even life itself. His aim is that we grow deeper and stronger in our confidence that he himself will be all we need.

He wants us to be able to say with the psalmist, “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Psalm 73:25–26).

John Piper 

Bible Study

2 Peter 1:5-7

[5] For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, [6] and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, [7] and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.

Hebrews 10:36

[36] For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised.

Romans 5:3-5

[3] Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, [4] and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, [5] and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

1 Peter 1:7

[7] so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

What Does Real Love Look Like?

“And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.” 1 JOHN 4:16

 

PONDER THIS

We need to give our kids unconditional love. I’ve often noticed that men who had fathers who did not love them do not know how to love to their kids—they must be taught. We need a generation of men to mentor other men who never had fathers who taught them unconditional love. We must break that cycle.

Unconditional love doesn’t mean you give a child everything he or she wants. That’s not really love at all. True love is not giving others what they want, it is giving others what they need. There must be unconditional acceptance, regardless of the child’s behavior. I may not accept what you do, but I accept you. Children need to know that so deeply that when they are in trouble, they won’t be afraid to come to you. If children don’t have a sense that their parents love them no matter what they do, they’re not going to share their mess-ups with you, and you won’t have the opportunity to help them through their greatest challenges.

Who are the people who were there for you in your hardest points of life? How have you learned love from them?

What are some things that make it challenging to love others unconditionally?

PRACTICE THIS

Thank someone today who loved you unconditionally while you were growing up.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

God’s Plan for Martyrs

They were each given a white robe and told to rest a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and their brothers should be complete, who were to be killed as they themselves had been. (Revelation 6:11)

For almost three hundred years, Christianity grew in soil that was wet with the blood of the martyrs.

Until the Emperor Trajan (about AD 98), persecution was permitted but not legal. From Trajan to Decius (about AD 250), persecution was legal. From Decius, who hated the Christians and feared their impact on his reforms, until the first edict of toleration in 311, the persecution was not only legal but widespread and general.

One writer described the situation in this third period:

Horror spread everywhere through the congregations; and the number of lapsi [the ones who renounced their faith when threatened] . . . was enormous. There was no lack, however, of such as remained firm, and suffered martyrdom rather than yielding; and, as the persecution grew wider and more intense, the enthusiasm of the Christians and their power of resistance grew stronger and stronger.

So, for three hundred years, to be a Christian was an act of immense risk to your life and possessions and family. It was a test of what you loved more. And at the extremity of that test was martyrdom.

And above that martyrdom was a sovereign God who said there is an appointed number of martyrs. They have a special role to play in planting and empowering the church. They have a special role to play in shutting the mouth of Satan, who constantly says that the people of God serve him only because life goes better. That’s the point of Job 1:9–11.

Martyrdom is not something accidental. It is not taking God off guard. It is not unexpected. And it is emphatically not a strategic defeat for the cause of Christ.

It may look like defeat. But it is part of a plan in heaven that no human strategist would ever conceive or could ever design. And this plan will triumph for all those who endure to the end by faith in God’s all-

John Piper 

Bible Study

Revelation 5:9-10

[9] And they sang a new song, saying, 

    “Worthy are you to take the scroll

        and to open its seals,

    for you were slain, and by your blood you ransomed people for God

        from every tribe and language and people and nation, 

    [10] and you have made them a kingdom and priests to our God,

        and they shall reign on the earth.”

Genesis 15:16

[16] And they shall come back here in the fourth generation, for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet complete.”

Hebrews 11:39-40

[39] And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, [40] since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect.

Revelation 7:9-10

[9] After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, [10] and crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!”

How to Manage Your Mess-Ups

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”GALATIANS 5:22-25

 

PONDER THIS

We all mess up. Nobody is perfect. Our kids want to know how do you manage your mess ups? How do you manage your failures? How do you manage your problems? That’ll be better for them than your phony perfectionism. Share with your kids. Give them an example. The two hardest times of life are middle age and teenage years, and somehow God puts them together in a family. You can still teach others, even as you are struggling. Your kids are going to learn more from your example than from your words.

What are we interested in with our kids? Many parents focus on sports, grades, physical health, popularity, and ability. But there are bigger values for them to learn. Think about the fruit of the Spirit. Is that something the next generation sees exemplified? Where are they going to learn about the fruit of the Spirit? These things are not taught as much as they are caught. We owe those who follow us an example.

What values did you learn from your parents? What values did they prioritize teaching you?

What are some values that are important to you to pass on to the next generation? Why are those important to you?

PRACTICE THIS

Talk to a parent or grandparent and ask what values he or she is teaching to children. Listen for, and note, godly insights shared with you.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers