Hedonism for Husbands and Wives

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:24–25)

There is a pattern of love in marriage ordained by God.

The roles of husband and wife are not the same. The husband is to take his special cues from Christ as the head of the church. The wife is to take her special cues from God’s design for the church as submissive to Christ.

In doing this, the sinful and damaging results of the fall begin to be reversed. The fall twisted man’s loving headship into hostile domination in some men, and lazy indifference in others. The fall twisted woman’s intelligent, willing submission into manipulative obsequiousness in some women, and brazen insubordination in others.

The redemption we anticipated when the Messiah finally came in Jesus Christ was not the dismantling of the created order of loving headship and willing submission, but a recovery of it. Wives, redeem your fallen submission by modeling it after God’s intention for a joyful church! Husbands, redeem your fallen headship by modeling it after God’s intention for the lavishly loving Christ!

I find in Ephesians 5:21–33 these two things: (1) the display of Christian Hedonism in marriage and (2) the direction its impulses should take.

Wives, seek your joy in the joy of your husband by affirming and honoring his God-ordained role as “head” or leader in your relationship. Husbands, seek your joy in the joy of your wife by accepting the responsibility to lead as Christ led the church and gave himself for her.

I would like to bear witness to God’s goodness in my life. I discovered Christian Hedonism the same year I got married, in 1968. Since then, Noël and I, in obedience to Jesus Christ, have pursued as passionately as we can the deepest, most lasting joys possible. All too imperfectly, all too half-heartedly at times, we have stalked our own joy in the joy of each other.

And we can testify together after almost 50 years of marriage: For those who marry, this is the path to the heart’s desire. For us, marriage has been a matrix for Christian Hedonism. As each pursues joy in the joy of the other and fulfills a God-ordained role, the mystery of marriage as a parable of Christ and the church becomes manifest for his great glory and for our great joy.

John Piper 

Prayer defeats every sin

BIBLE MEDITATION:

In whom we have boldness and access with confidence by the faith of Him.

Ephesians 3:12

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:

One of the grandest privileges you and I have is the privilege of prayer. I believe when we get to heaven, one of the things that will amaze us is that we prayed so poorly, and we prayed so little, while we were here on earth.

I want to tell you: you do not have a failure in your life but what it is a prayer failure. You do not have a need in your life but what prayer could supply that need. There’s not a sin in your life that a proper prayer life couldn’t overcome.

Hymn writer Joseph M. Scriven penned these words,

“O what peace we often forfeit,

O what needless pain we bear,

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer.”

ACTION POINT:

Friend, rather than wringing our hands, we ought to be bending our knees.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

The Mystery of Marriage

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31–32)

Here in Ephesians 5:31 Paul is quoting Genesis 2:24, which Moses spoke — and Jesus said God spoke through Moses (Matthew 19:5) — “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Paul says this word of God, spoken before the fall into sin, is a reference to Christ and the church and contains therefore a great mystery.

What this implies is that when God engaged to create man and woman and to ordain the union of marriage, he didn’t roll the dice or draw straws or flip a coin as to how they might be related to each other. He patterned marriage very purposefully after the relationship between his Son and the church, which he had planned from all eternity.

Therefore, marriage is a mystery — it contains and conceals a meaning far greater than what we see on the outside. God created man male and female and ordained marriage so that the eternal covenant relationship between Christ and his church would be imaged forth in the marriage union.

The inference Paul draws from this mystery is that the roles of husband and wife in marriage are not arbitrarily assigned, but are rooted in the distinctive roles of Christ and his church.

Those of us who are married need to ponder again and again how mysterious and wonderful it is that God grants us in marriage the privilege to image forth stupendous divine realities infinitely bigger and greater than ourselves.

This mystery of Christ and the church is the foundation of the pattern of love that Paul describes for marriage. It is not enough to say that each spouse should pursue his or her own joy in the joy of the other. That is true. But it is not enough. It is also important to say that husbands and wives should consciously copy the relationship God intended for Christ and the church. That is, each should seek to live after the distinctive model of God’s pure and glad design for Christ and the church.

I hope you will take this seriously whether you are single or married, old or young. The revelation of the covenant-keeping Christ and his covenant-keeping church hangs on it.

John Piper 

Do you feel “fogged in”?

BIBLE MEDITATION:

Gracious is the Lord, and righteous; yea, our God is merciful.

Psalm 116:5

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:

Imagine you’re in a plane, ready for take-off on the runway. The pilot comes on the intercom and announces there’s a delay due to fog. You glance out your window. It looks so gloomy and dark. You wonder if the sun is shining.

The fog lifts enough for the control tower to give the green light, and the plane takes off. It’s still cloudy, but the plane starts climbing, climbing, climbing. Suddenly, the plane bursts through the clouds, and it is so gloriously bright that you have to blink your eyes. Now, you realize the sun has been there all the time.

That’s the way it is with Jehovah God, the Son of righteousness with healing in His wings (see Malachi 4:2-3). He is always loving, always giving. He is waiting for you to see Him now.

ACTION POINT:

Invite the Holy Spirit to show you today the true condition of the sky—above the clouds. Open your heart to His presence and let Him speak to you about what is really there beyond the fog. Things are not always what they seem. And God has His hand upon you.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers 

Prayer’s First Priority

“Pray then like this: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” (Matthew 6:9)

In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus teaches that the first priority in praying is to ask our heavenly Father to cause his name to be hallowed. In us. In the church. In the world. Everywhere.

Notice that this is a petition, a request. It is not a declaration or acclamation. It is not an expression of praise, but petition. For years I misread the Lord’s Prayer as if it began with praise: “Praise God, the Lord’s name is hallowed, revered, honored!” But it is not acclamation. It is supplication. It is a request to God that he would see to it that his own name be hallowed.

It is like another text, Matthew 9:38, where Jesus tells us to pray to the Lord of the harvest that he would send out laborers into his own harvest. It never ceases to amaze me that we, we laborers, should be instructed to ask the owner of the farm, who knows the harvest better than we do, to add on more farm hands.

But isn’t this the same thing we have here in the Lord’s Prayer — Jesus is telling us to ask God, who is infinitely jealous for the honor of his own name, to see to it that his name be hallowed, which means honored, revered, exalted as supremely precious?

Well it may amaze us, but there it is. And it teaches us two things.

One is that prayer does not move God to do things he is disinclined to do. He has every intention to cause his name to be hallowed. Nothing is higher on God’s priority list. But we should ask anyway.

The other is that prayer is God’s way of bringing our priorities into line with his. God wills to make great things the consequence of our prayers when our prayers are the consequence of his great purposes.

Bring your heart into line with the jealousy of God to hallow his name, and you will pray with great effect. Let your first and all-determining prayer be for the hallowing of God’s name, and your prayers will plug into the power of God’s jealousy for his name.

John Piper 

Do you want to tell God how to do things?

BIBLE MEDITATION:

Ye shall walk after the Lord your God, and fear Him, and keep His commandments, and obey His voice, and ye shall serve Him, and cleave unto Him.

Deuteronomy 13:4

DEVOTIONAL THOUGHT:

When we read a command in the Bible, whether we understand it or not, we ought to obey it. The Bible is not first and foremost a book to be explained, it is a book to be believed and obeyed.

So many times we want to tell God how He ought to do things. I can imagine some early apostles when they first met Saul persecuting believers—those well-meaning Christians could have been praying for God to strike him dead. But what did God do? He struck Paul alive! And aren’t you glad He did?

ACTION POINT:

Don’t substitute your human reasoning for obedience. You say, “Well, this or that seems so reasonable to me.” God says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9). This will test your faith, but you must trust that He has the higher ways and the better plan.

LWF Dr. Adrian Rogers

Love’s Greatest Happiness

No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. (Ephesians 5:29–30)

Don’t miss that last phrase: “because we are members of his body.” And don’t forget what Paul said two verses earlier, namely, that Christ gave himself for us “so that he might present the church to himself in splendor.” So in two different ways, Paul makes plain that Christ pursued his joy in pursuing the holiness and beauty and happiness of his people.

The union between Christ and his bride is so close (“one flesh”) that any good done to her is a good done to himself. Which means that the clear assertion of this text is that the Lord is moved to nourish, cherish, sanctify, and cleanse his bride because in this he finds his joy.

By some definitions, this cannot be love. Love, they say, must be free of self-interest — especially Christlike love, especially Calvary love. I have never seen such a view of love made to square with this passage of Scripture.

Yet what Christ does for his bride, this text plainly calls love: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church . . . ” (Ephesians 5:25). Why not let the text define love for us, instead of bringing our definition from ethics or philosophy? According to this text, love is the pursuit of Christ’s joy in the holy joy of the beloved.

There is no way to exclude self-interest from love, for self-interest is not the same as selfishness. Selfishness seeks its own private happiness at the expense of others.

Christlike love seeks its happiness in the happiness of others — not at their expense. It will even suffer and die for the beloved in order that its joy might be made full in the life and purity of the beloved.

This is how Christ loved us, and this is how he calls us to love one another.

John Piper